R/SanDiego: The Madness of a St. Paddy’s Day Preroll Drop
By the holy trinity of battered fish tacos, cheap surfboards, and overpriced craft beer, there are few finer online communities than the San Diego subreddit. Unlike the digital cesspools of larger metro areas, where every thread is a battle royale of egos and conspiracy theories, r/SanDiego is generally a haven of good-natured advice, neighborhood watch updates, and heated debates about burritos. Need a surf report? It’s there. Curious about which brewery pours the best hazy IPA? Ask and ye shall receive. But on this fateful St. Patrick’s Day, a lone poster elevated the subreddit to new, hallucinatory heights by engaging in an act of radical philanthropy—or unhinged tomfoolery—depending on your level of paranoia.
THE DROP: A PRE-ROLL AND A PRAYER
The OP (Original Poster, or Oblivious Pothead) claims they were on their way to the airport, their pockets inconveniently burdened by an unused, unopened preroll joint. Not wanting to risk airport security sniffing them out like a K-9-targeted cartel mule, nor willing to test federal airspace policies on cannabis possession, they decided to give back to the community. How? By taping the joint to a pole outside Tacos El Gordo in Chula Vista and posting a photo of the exact location on Reddit.
An innocent, altruistic act? A pothead’s version of ‘take a penny, leave a penny’? Or a deranged game of chemical roulette? The reactions came in fast and furious.
THE REPLIES: A SOCIOLOGICAL PETRI DISH
The Pragmatists:
"PSA: if you don't know what it is, don't smoke it. It could be laced with fentanyl for all you know."
"If you didn’t roll it don’t smoke it. Herbalations 4:20." – Embarrassed_Dog1494
"I found so many ecstasy pills on the ground at Coachella last year but didn’t pick them up because you never know…."
The Conspiracy Theorists:
"This is literally how you get poisoned and wake up in a bathtub full of ice with a missing kidney."
"Even if the OP didn’t lace it, some psycho with a grudge against stoners might come along and swap it out. The streets are dark and full of terrors."
The Enthusiasts:
"Sounds like something someone who wants to get there first would say....." –
"San Diego’s version of ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’—whoever finds the golden blunt wins a lifetime supply of paranoia."
The Would-Be Investigators:
[Posted an image without additional text.]
"What kind of preroll are we talking here? If it’s mids, keep it. If it’s top shelf, I’ll risk death."
THE AFTERMATH: THE STUFF OF LEGENDS
As of this writing, no word yet on whether the preroll was claimed. It may still be there, taped to a forlorn pole, whispering sweet nothings to the night like a siren luring reckless sailors into the abyss. Perhaps it was picked up and smoked in blissful ignorance. Perhaps it was intercepted by a good Samaritan, who tossed it in the trash to save a would-be adventurer from their own reckless optimism. Perhaps, just perhaps, it remains untouched—an urban relic, a testament to the strange and wondrous online culture of San Diego.
But let’s be honest.
Some sunburnt lunatic found it. Lit it. Inhaled deeply. And is currently either giggling into a plate of adobada or hurtling through a psychedelic wormhole to meet St. Patrick himself.
Either way, happy hunting, San Diego. May your tacos be hot, your beer be cold, and your street drugs be (at the very least) properly vetted.