Wednesday 13 – Mid Death Crisis: Blood, Latex, and the Gospel of the Undead
Wednesday 13
Mid Death Crisis
(Napalm Records, April 25, 2025)
There are albums that push boundaries, smash genres, and reinvent the language of rock. And then there are albums that stumble out of the crypt wearing snakeskin boots, slathered in eyeliner and gasoline, and proceed to throw the loudest, sleaziest funeral party you’ve ever seen. Mid Death Crisis, the latest graveyard rager from Wednesday 13, doesn't so much evolve his sound as it gleefully sticks a firecracker in its ass and lights the fuse.
Let’s get real—this record is proudly lowbrow in all the right ways. It’s a haunted house ride soundtracked by sex, death, and riffs so sticky they should come with a disinfectant wipe. Produced by glam-metal trickster Alex Kane, the album is less about mood and message and more about letting your inner freak run wild across a rain-slicked parking lot at midnight. And good god, it works.
The curtain rises with “There’s No Such Thing As Monsters,” a static-laced creeper that sounds like you just broke into an abandoned sanitarium and found the stereo still running. It segues straight into “Decease and Desist,” a cyborg rock stomper that owes more than a little to Rob Zombie’s sleaze-industrial era—but with Wednesday’s twisted charisma injected straight into its neck. It’s the kind of track that could raise the dead and get them moving.
Elsewhere, “When the Devil Commands” hits like a Molotov cocktail of nostalgia and menace. Wednesday’s take on the Satanic Panic is less cautionary tale, more Saturday morning cartoon from the ninth circle. It’s over the top in the best possible way: chugging riffs, call-and-response choruses, and the kind of imagery that would’ve had your mom hiding your cassettes in the freezer.
And that’s the secret sauce here: every song is catchy enough to stick, sleazy enough to sting, and loud enough to wake the neighbors and their ancestors. “Rotting Away,” “No Apologies,” and “Decapitation” all grind forward with that neon-drenched 80s street-metal spirit, viewed through a cracked funhouse mirror. There’s a glam-slam grit to the guitars, a swagger in the vocals, and enough propulsion to make a chainsaw blush.
The guest spot from Taime Downe (Faster Pussycat) on “No Apologies” is a gloriously snarling, lipstick-smeared blessing. He doesn’t just show up—he oozes onto the track like a ghost from the Sunset Strip, growling through a haze of smoke, lipstick, and lost weekends. “Decapitation,” meanwhile, is a loony-bin sock-hop that lures you in with surfy charm and then slashes the tires just as the chorus hits. Think prom night meets crime scene.
“In Misery” brings some goth-disco bounce to the mix, all eyeliner and attitude, while “Xanaxtasy” and “Sick and Violent” sound like lost soundtrack cuts from a VHS horror flick that was banned in three countries and worshipped in dorm rooms everywhere.
But the real surprise comes near the end. “My Funeral” drops the tempo and leans into the grave with theatrical flair—a slow-burn death rocker with enough doom to sink a steamboat. It’s grim, grand, and strangely addictive.
There’s no pretense here. You’ve heard all of this before—in spirit, in tone, in guts—but that doesn’t matter. Not every record needs to reinvent the haunted wheel. What Mid Death Crisis does is simple: it absolutely nails the vibe. It’s a start-to-finish banger. that will kick in your speakers, spike your pulse, and make you yearn for eyeliner and shitty beer. As you build your summer playlists for long nights, bad decisions, and questionable hook-ups—save a spot for this one.
Because even if monsters aren’t real, Wednesday 13 sure as hell is.
🔥 Score: 7.5/10
💀 Essential Tracks: When the Devil Commands, Decapitation, No Apologies, Xanaxtasy, My Funeral
📻 File Under: Horror-glam resurrection, Sleaze metal séance, Graveyard stomp'n'roll