Kanye West Throws His Rattle Out Of His Stroller, Complains He's $53 Million In Debt

Kanye West says he's $53 million in debt. It's either a clumsy, ham-fisted troll or the greatest news story since they invented broadband cable. Sailing headlong into the waters of the sublime, he's begging Mark Zuckerberg for a billion dollar bailout. “Mark Zuckerberg," the stage-crashing trainwreck tweeted, "I know it’s your bday but can you please call me by 2mrw… You love hip hop, you love my art… I am your favorite artist but you watch me barely breathe and still play my album in your house…" Then turning to his dewy-eyed minions, Kanye pleaded, "World, please tweet, FaceTime, Facebook, instagram, whatever you gotta do to get Mark to support me…” The shame-free campaign continued, “Mark, I am publicly asking you for help…one of the coolest things you could ever do is to help me in my time of need,” West added. “I will always respect you for that and the world will love you. I know I can make the world a better place… I have done the impossible… I retook the throne of rap… I beat the fashion game…”So what does he need, $53 million to get back to square one? No, he's looking for ONE BILLION DOLLARS! Kanye apparently believes that's what his "ideas" are worth — a leap in logic so broad that not even Evel Knievel would have attempted the jump. One can safely bank that Mark Zuckerberg will not overlook the fact that Kanye's "ideas" are what landed him $53 million in the red in the first place. Just think of how much money he could lose with an extra billion in his piggy bank!The quintessential egomaniac-with-an-inferiority-complex, pointing out Kanye's comical dearth of self-awareness is so easy that it borders on a human rights violation. Still, it's fun to see self-absorbed, attention-seeking disasters like him crawling through a river of shit while expecting the world to be jealous of him.Thank you, Kanye, for the laughs.