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June’s People Who Deserve A Good Cock-Punching

It’s time to throw on your punching hats again because this month’s cock-punch candidates have left all other contenders in the dust after ruthlessly conspiring to choke all signs of life out of our most basic concepts of law, common sense and justice. You’d think that these three notions should skip happily together through our



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The Best Thing Ever Written

I graduated from college with a degree in Classics, which essentially means that I pissed away four years studying Latin and ancient Greek — neither of which have been spoken for many centuries. Upon graduation, I was to grimly discover that what little I had learned amounted to the complete opposite of what high-paying Wall



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Dave Mustaine Comments On The Passing Of Nick Menza

We lost another storied rocker today with the passing of Nick Menza, former drummer of Megadeth, at the age of 51. Nick was Megadeth’s longest-serving drummer, appearing on five records with the band including their incendiary 1990 masterpiece, Rust In Peace. While performing last night with his current band, the proggy jazz trio OHM, Nick



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All Signs Pointing To Jack Nicklaus Gradually Losing Connection To Facts And Reason

Beloved multimillionaire golf legend Jack Nicklaus has entered what appears to be the early stages of a tragic and wholesale disassociation with reality when, in an utterly heartbreaking display of early-onset dementia, he publicly endorsed Donald Trump for the next president of the United States. It is indeed difficult to hear this once-fierce and calculating



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Behold The Mighty Gojira!

To say that Gojira’s new record, Magma, has been worth the wait is an understatement worthy of Smithsonian recognition. In fact, if the Smithsonian Museum ever rolled out a Wing Of Colossal Understatements, you’d hang “Gojira’s new record has been worth the wait,” right next to, “You know, I’m starting to think these bankers know