All Signs Pointing To Jack Nicklaus Gradually Losing Connection To Facts And Reason

Beloved multimillionaire golf legend Jack Nicklaus has entered what appears to be the early stages of a tragic and wholesale disassociation with reality when, in an utterly heartbreaking display of early-onset dementia, he publicly endorsed Donald Trump for the next president of the United States. It is indeed difficult to hear this once-fierce and calculating competitor reduced to barely-coherent gibberish like, "Is he a politician? Is he as smooth and politically correct as he should be? Probably not. But he'll learn." Praising the brash and outspoken hotel mogul, who has driven several of his vast global enterprises so far into the dirt that he filed for bankruptcy four separate times in the past twenty-five years, Nicklaus unironically said, "He's awakening the country," a wince-inducing cry for help that showcases the once-rational and eloquent sportsman's terrifying spiral into utter madness.