I don’t think that I’m alone in admitting that that saucy little shanty, I’m A Little Teapot — undoubtedly composed by the kind of child-hating psychopath whose attic is littered with porcelain dolls and pictures of little kids with their eyes poked out with scissors — figured prominently in my pre-kindergarten song canon. Who does that to a kid, anyway? What sort of parent orders their own personal child to subject himself or herself to such wanton self-defilement as singing that diaper-filling drivel in a room full of relatives? Well, mine, for starters. Anyway, I would have gladly hopped up and down in my Tom and Jerry one-piece, caterwauling every despicable syllable of this dick-shriveling anthem of preschool torture if I had a drummer like Joey Muha backing me up. Unfortunately I didn’t, but here for your enjoyment, is this utterly sublime timekeeper piling into that terrible three year-old rite of passage.
For more heavy metal news, insanity and the odd piece by yours truly, check out: https://www.facebook.com/metalhammer