Monthly archives: May, 2016

booze

Delta Flight Attendant Steals Booze, Concocts Shittiest Business Plan Ever

It was only a matter of time before somebody privatized liquor sales as Uber did with taxis and Airbnb did with hotels. Police recently arrested an enterprising 28 year-old Delta flight attendant whom they allege had been snarfing those mini-bottles of booze from the airplane’s liquor cart and selling them online. Police claim that Rachel



axl c hair

I Told You So

The rattle-tossing bitterness over my Metal Hammer article, in defense of Axl fronting AC/DC for the remainder of their tour, was thunderous.  It sounded like this: “Waah! Waah! Axl! Waah!” Whiny, analysis-free bleats from lazy, self-righteous posters entirely incapable of analyzing the obvious and tremendous upside to the GNR frontman replacing Brian Johnson for the



50

50 Cent Delivers A $100,000 Masterclass On How To Say, “Whoops! My Bad!”

Is there anybody more entertaining in the music industry than Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson? The Queens-born rapper has made millions, lost millions, slung dope, copped a mess of arrests, carried more metal than a sword-bearer and survived being shot this many times. It’s no small understatement to say that ol’ 50 is anything but a



tropp

The San Diego Gulls And The Most Metal Sport On The Planet

Professional hockey returned to San Diego in 2015 with the installment of the San Diego Gulls as the Anaheim Ducks’ new AHL affiliate. My buddy Jani (a Finnish metalhead who likes Children of Bodom, but whatever) and I bought season tickets and as the Gulls enter the second round of the Calder Cup playoffs this



martian

We’ve Now Found Three Habitable Planets (Maybe). Here Are Ten Things We Need Before Moving There

Good news for your great great great great great great grandkids — they’ve got options! That planet-erasing mass extinction event that’s been in the cards for eons might not be the end of homo sapiens after all. Looks like an international team of scientists (and if television is to be believed, they’re all hipsterish and