I think it goes without saying, but if you’re new to this planet, let me tell you that Vegas is a weird place.
I have no idea how many times I’ve been here, but I’m always thrilled to arrive and equally excited to leave. Were I a betting man, I’d wager that would put me in the majority of Vegas visitors. Come to think of it, I am a betting man–I just dropped a bunch of cash in the casino downstairs.
Downstairs?
Yeah, I’m in Vegas again. And I’ve got to say, it’s good to be back.
The nav system on the car told me it would take me 321 miles and 544 minutes to drive hear (yeah, I drove–cheaper than flying and when you’re working for one of the mags, cost control is paramount). The nav system was half correct, as it took me 321 miles to get to the hotel, but I made it in just under 5 hours.
Just one notable stop–the Waterfall Urinal, just 50 miles outside of the city. What is it? Something you’d see out of a kitchy movie about the whacked out desert culture of Nevada. Just a roadside stand with gas and a convenience store. I pulled into the men’s room and there it was- this waterfall about 7 feet tall and six feet across. It had plastic ferns, soothing running water and ample scented urinal cakes across the floor. Made me feel almost guilty to piss all over it, but hey–the sign on the wall said I should enjoy it, and that I did.
Still with me? Good.
Arrived at my hotel and did a bit of work before going downstairs to get played by the oddsmakers. Was up $200 at one point, but ended up on the losing end of the afternoon. Walked around the main floor a bit, just to people watch and stop by the lobby shop, where it occurred to me that people who marvel at how cheap everything is in Vegas have never paid $8 for a tiny tube of toothpaste in a hotel lobby shop. Somewhere in hell, Lucky Luciano is smiling. And probably getting ass-raped by the devil. I wonder if that’s why he’s smiling?
Wow–this blog is not for the kiddies, is it? If you’re a kid, ignore the last paragraph and go do your homework. Get off the Internet and go be productive, you fucking hoodlum.
Speaking of productivity, I need to get my shizznit together for work this evening. Looking forward to working with the talented Travis Shinn, whose portfolio is mighty impressive and who advises that he’s downstairs playing some blackjack before the show. Let’s hope he’s having better luck than I.
Then again, the night is still young.
